I have returned! 

 I have returned! It’s been a month. A MONTH! I’m a terrible blogger! I will offer a short breakdown as to where the 4 weeks absence has gone…

Week 1: I had the flu. I gained my own body weight in the cough syrup, lemsip and whisky I consumed. 

Week 2: Easter. This was a trip to Swindon which consisted of eating out. A lot. 

Week 3: The business trip. Warrington is a shit hole! Nuff said!

Week 4: Laziness/Assignment. Dan was away for the weekend so I had an assignment to write. Naturally, this meant I spent 95% of the weekend playing Witcher 3. I love that game. 

Week 5: Well that would be this weekend just gone – I spent the weekend doing couple things with Dan and on Friday I went to buy gym gear! Oh yes! I’ve joined the gym!

Gym. My wifey has finally got me agreeing to go to the work gym. Yey. In case you couldn’t detect, that was sarcasm. I have nothing against the principal of the gym, I just dislike the idea of my colleagues witnessing my boobs flying around like they’re about to come off! It’s not going to be a pretty sight! I also have an issue with my ankle which leaves me prone to falling. If I can survive the gym with my boobs and dignity in tact, I will be chalking it up as a win. 

In my usual fashion of obsessive planning, I have broken down our gym sessions into the various machines to get in some resistance training and cardio. Admittedly, that was helped tremendously by one of the nicer guys at work explaining everything to me. I have also ordered all the appropriate accessories, so even though exercise is clearly a foreign concept to me, I shall look like I belong! I have new running shoes, new work out clothes, a towel, Bluetooth headphones, a water bottle and an iPhone armband. Love me some kit. I contemplated protein shakes but came to the conclusion I have no idea wtf they’re for so gave up on that plan!

So. Let’s talk about food. Last week I literally ate nothing but salad, well, salad and Krispy Kremes because one of the guys I work with is a feeder and it’s rude to say no. I lost 1lb. 1 fricking lb. I mean, the daily Krispy Kreme obviously is to blame but seriously?! I ate all that poxy salad for literally no reason. Pissed does not cover it. This week I’ve left the salad on the Sainsburys shelf and gone back to cooking! It tastes nicer and if I can say no to the feeder it will all be fine. 

I think this about covers the excitement of my life. I will update the progress thing soon. It’s not moved much. At all. 
Much love,


  3 comments for “I have returned! 

  1. April 18, 2016 at 12:37 pm

    HAHA 🙂 This made me smile! Welcome Back!


  2. Julsa
    April 19, 2016 at 3:24 am

    Congrats on joining the gym and that’s great that you have a plan! (I also love Witcher 3. When I’m not playing it, I find myself listening to the soundtrack. Just a lovely game all around).


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