At the start of last week, I was all up for Fat Club. I ate like a supermodel and I was feeling good. I managed to link Instagram to my Facebook page, and I even ordered some new Jillian Michaels DVDs because I like her and I need to get some movement going given I sit on my ass for 9 hours at work, then come home to sit on my ass for another 5 hours while watching TV or playing on the Xbox, before finally lying down for the next 8 hours to sleep. Imagine then my sorrow when my positive vibes were brutally stomped all over by the arrival of Aunt Flow on Wednesday night. What a bitch! It was my first period since the miscarriage, and it seemed determined to make my life extra especially miserable! For one thing, it was really painful – like really painful! I spent Thursday and Friday led on the sofa in a ball, unable to move. It was also heavy – like really heavy! I was going through pads like no tomorrow. Side point: Sanitary towels are not now, nor have ever been a “luxury item”, and anyone who says otherwise can piss off. I assure you that as I was applying them I was not thinking how lucky I was and reveling in how luxurious I felt. Just no.
Moving swiftly on… with the arrival of my period followed the departure of my willpower. I felt like I was reliving a very painful experience in a very literal sense. I wasn’t in a good place, and I’m very lucky that my husband recognised this and acted accordingly – by coming home with co-codomol and chocolate, and heating my Unicorn in the microwave. I was in no fit state to cook and Dan couldn’t be bothered, so what followed were takeaways from the local Indian and Domino’s. Sad times for me and Fat Club. On the bright side, Aunt Flow has basically left the building and I’m generally feeling a lot better, both physically and mentally. It’s odd how things sometimes hit you.
As for the weigh in, well on Saturday the scales were showing a loss of 1lb, but with the weekend of junk that followed I think that 1lb has been replaced with pizza or cake. At one point my cake cravings were so bad I defrosted a chunk of the wedding cake we have stashed in the freezer. That folks is called a “low point”. The joy is that as I’m now doing this just for me, I don’t have to beat myself up too hard. I’ll simply get back on track and continue on. We didn’t quite make it shopping last night due to the killer headache this cold weather gave me, but I’m optimistic for this evening. Tomorrow will be my first driving lesson in about 12 years so I need to sort out food tonight as I will have no time at all tomorrow. I have a car to crash.